


Motionless

by days_six



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: F/M, Imagination, Romance, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-28
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-11-07 04:58:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17954027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/days_six/pseuds/days_six
Summary: It was hard for Hae Won to differentiate between reality and her imaginations because she caged her creativity for far too long.Hae Won and Sungjin were in a relationship that started crumbling and she barely did anything to save it. When she first saw Younghyun her imaginations told her something more unreal.





	Motionless

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing a fic and I’m a confused human being. Perspective may change

Another Sunday that begins with a fight which ends in me not having breakfast and leaving Sungjin’s place for my tour of art exhibitions around the city. I know I’m driving the car a little above the speed limit. That’s what I do when I’m sad.

I’m sad, and angry but most importantly exhausted with everything that’s happening between us. We have been in a relationship for two years now, I think that’s enough for Sungjin to understand my priorities and my life decisions, that involve more freedom and less interruptions.

For I’m a free bird, and I like to fly.  
Fly…….. On the weekends.

 

Well that’s how I’ve planned my life to be. Weekdays are for working hard and Saturday nights for Sungjin and, Sundays?

Sundays are for myself. I always had the love for art, from when I was very young, when I first picked the paintbrush everybody knew I was one of those that are born with the talent, who are meant to draw masterpieces but that’s not what my parents thought. I was forced to put my colors in a box and put them in the basement amidst the piles of my dead dreams.

Slowly I began losing the skills and soon the time to keep up with the world I create from the hues inside my head. I became colorless. I wasn’t even black and white, I was complete white, off white.  
My parents forced me to pursue a career in engineering. It’s their definition of a stable and hence a successful life. Nowhere in that definition exists happiness or life. That doesn’t matter to them. If you have money you are successful, you are happy, but not for me. It’s not that I earn tonnes of money, I earn enough to buy expensive clothes and afford to rent an apartment in the city but not enough to buy happiness. Something that some colored papers couldn’t buy but simply joy will.

I was able to channelize that anger, that rage into studying and so I excelled. I got a job in this MNC, something my parents are very proud of. I moved to the city leaving that small town behind. That’s when I decided to live my life at my own terms.

My car and I have been best friends since, I love to drive around the city and in day offs away from the city. I try to visit as many art exhibitions and workshops as possible, half because I want to learn more and half because it gives me life. It gives me reason to live, when I see colors, I just don’t see them I feel them. I love the emotions that paintings carry, when you study them you get to know the depths of the creator, the depths they fail to show the world but bare them all on the canvas. It’s as if you’re standing naked in front of an audience, but the audience is blind, so you can dance the way you want because no one gets to see you, although they’re here to witness the show. 

In simple words no matter how hard you try to decipher the meaning behind a painting you won’t ever be able to exactly take out what the creator tries to portray. And that’s the beauty of art, the mystery and the sparkle that it brings in your eyes when you look at it.

I’ve been learning and I’ve been practising a lot. My study room is a mess of colors splattered around everywhere and piles of unfinished paintings, something Sungjin is very furious about but I just don’t really care it sparks joy afterall.

 

I’m on the way to this infamous art gallery, where very few people visit. I do not really bother to find out why. I’m always in search of places like this, the pieces in such places are more amateur and less famous, I get to learn the most from such works, and so I’m always after them.

The speed limit says 40 and for some reason it reminds me of our fight in the morning. As if the board is mocking me, the color of red encircling the letters 40 like it’s trapped. The same way I find myself trapped in Sungjin’s love. Like it tells me to run, but run in limits. And I want to break all those limits, I want to run fast. I’m watching the sign board as I’m speeding my car to 50, 60, 70, 80 and crash my car into the board, and I shut my eyes close tightly, as I try to feel all the resistance that the blow followed and as I open my eyes   
I’m still watching the sign board, intact, standing and red.

It was all in my head. AGAIN.

 

I’m getting used to it, my imaginations, they happen to me all the time. Everything becomes motionless and only I am moving, it’s so real that it’s hard to distinguish from reality. I used to call them hallucinations, but they aren’t, I got myself checked, I’m alright, I’m not insane. It’s just all in my head.

 

As I had expected the place is almost empty, I can only see two or three people. Underrated, this is so underrated, I’m chanting to myself as I witness the beauty of each and every artwork that’s been put up for show. The white walls never seem as beautiful as they do in art galleries, they complement the contrast and vibrancy of the paintings and also my life, white it is.  
The next thing I see is the best thing I’d get to see today, it’s a magnificent piece of work, so huge it covers the whole wall, as I raise my eyes to the level it almost strains my neck, I could see the hard work, the colors radiate warmth, and the patterns reflect light in a certain way that when it strikes your eyes you’d want to blink but you wouldn’t because you don’t want to waste a moment not looking at it, I try to capture the details and take notes in my head which I fail to do because I get distracted by its beauty.

There’s no one here and it’s dead silent but my lips try to break the silence as I proceed to say “wow”. Loud. 

And I turn to my right to see someone who witnessed my act of stupidity. 

when I turn to him, I find myself locking eyes with him, art? This man right here is the most beautiful piece of it. Standing tall, confident, as he looks into my eyes, I find myself staring into them. And as I do that, I can notice how unique those are, they carry the whole universe inside them, and I would kill to take a pint of space in that universe. Fuck, I want to be all of it, all of his universe. I want to burrow my head on his chest and I want him to wrap me around in his arms and feel his warmth as he rests his chin over my head, his broad shoulders and his feline features are making me weak and I’m not trying to fight the urge to kiss him. what is happening? Everything is motionless.

I take a step closer to him and I see him walking towards me as I reach him, he holds my hand and he pulls me closer and now I’m tiptoe reaching for his kiss. we’re so close, I could feel his heartbeat against me, the smell of his hair is the sweetest thing after honey, his grip is so tight as if his hands are telling me to hold on to them and he’ll never leave. Now his one hand is on my waist and other in my hair while I rest mine on his chest. He kisses me as if it’s a drought and I’m the last drop of water. As if this is the only chance we’re getting. this is the best feeling. As I find myself submitting to his commands, I close my eyes and as I open them…….

There’s a burst of colors so vibrant it hurts my eyes and the next thing I see is, white, white wall, white wall of nothingness. right in front of me, as if he was never there, was he even there? Was I imagining again?  
Fuck. I curse in my head. I walk out of the place as fast as I can all flustered. As I walk out in open space, I could finally breathe but my eyes are still searching for him like they want the assurance that he is real, his presence was real.

I start driving and I’m cursing myself. I turn on the radio to have something occupied in my head. I usually have a control over my imaginations but this was stupid. And I am guilty, this feels like cheating, to be thinking of a man other than Sungjin. To think about kissing someone else. But what’s making me madder is that, this was weird, so weird, I could only see things, but this was an experience, I felt him, I felt the moment, I felt the kiss. this is in all sense wrong and stupid but a part of my heart still wants it to be real. And I curse myself for that. Fuck.  
“FUCK!” I scream. 

I want to lock myself in my room and pass the guilt to my sheets, I want to sleep this off, I want to end the day. I don’t want to face Sungjin. But I have to go to his place, that’s what I always do. And I have to makeup for todays fight. I gather the little strength that I have and I drive to his place.

The lift was never so scary, as it goes up, I can feel myself being heavier, from a weird feeling. I can’t understand why I’m feeling this. It wasn’t even real. And here I stand at his door, before ringing the bell, I take a deep breath. 

He almost came running to open the door. And I find myself a little teary eyed.  
“why are you crying? I’m not mad at you.”  
“I’m sorry” I say with the little strength that I have.  
“come on in. I made us dinner, but first I have something else”

He reaches the music system to play some song. Sungjin comes closer to me and pulls me into his arms and hugs me tightly.  
“I love you” I say as I hold him tighter.  
“I love you more”  
Again and again starts playing and I burst out laughing.   
“why are you laughing, I arranged this for you”

He knows I love seeing him dance, not because he’s best at it but because he loves doing it. Sungjin loves dancing, when he dances, he forgets the world and gets lost in the rhythm, he’s so funny when he dances, but he is confident. And it makes me happy, so happy seeing him happy.

“You do all the dancing, I’m here to enjoy the show”  
“I can’t without you, join me, come on don’t be so ruthless!”

 

The whole apartment fills with our laugh as we both are dancing to all the hype songs, it’s moments like these that we live for, that make me realise that despite we fight, love is still between us. I cannot go away from my love, his beautiful sparkling eyes and his sweetest smile. This is love. And I deserve him.

I’m seeing him moving his body hilariously sitting in the couch and I blackout again, I find myself lost in that ugly moment that happened earlier today again.

“Do I really deserve him?”


End file.
